


Give me a V! Give me an O! Give me an L! Give me a- Voltron? Gfdi keith.

by SeaEnemy



Series: Gfdi keith [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: #Ineedanap, #Kroliaforbestmom, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BC THIS IS MY GODDAMN FIC, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), COUGH WHAT COUGH, Crack, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Demisexual Allura, Everyone Is Gay, FITE MEH BEACHES, Fluff and Crack, Friendship ended with klance, Fucking texas kogane, Galra mom is best mom, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, God I need to stop, Group Chat Fic, Group chat, He is life, He is meme, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, I feel like im always in a state of concern for the voltron fandom, I lied texas is dead bc keith need character, I lowkey ship allurance so like its fine????, I mean, I still cant get over the fact that the fandom named keiths dad, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith has a motorcycle, Kick, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lesbians, Multi, Mutual Pining, NO ONE GOES INSANE OR BETRAYS ANYONE AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND MODERATELY OKAY, Not on my watch, Pan Hunk, Pining Keith (Voltron), Shatt, Sorry Not Sorry, Totally, Voltron Group Chat, WTF is happening, We stan the anime god known as matt, Zezor is now my best friend, a big mess of biness, ace pidge, amirite?, aye papi, but same goes for keith, cause hes edgy, cause shalluratt is OT3, dont lose hope, even though shiro is the literal embodiment of a rainbow, he puts the bi in bitch, hunk is a pancake too, i still cant get over their fucking ship name, im dying, klance is canon king, lesbians guys, lets fuckin go, no one is dying, ok im gonna stop now, omfg, pacing is bad, pan Shiro, pancake shiro, polydin, romelle is a blessing, shallura - Freeform, shalluratt, shiro is pan in this, slow burn but not???, soooo, tbh he gets it from shiro, there are too many tags goddamn, unironic finger guns, uuuummm, we stan sunshine boi, whheeee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-03 05:56:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15812823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaEnemy/pseuds/SeaEnemy
Summary: (Warning, Very gay. Prepare for acid trip smile dip style.)BegoneThot: MOM DAD THE TINY ONE IS BEING MEANFuckedupEdwardElric: noAlluring AF: Not rnMattimus Prime: You have been stoppedPidgetspinner: WHERE IS MY FUCKING PEANUT BUTTERRaginghomomullet: chillAlluring AF: Boi don't even talk about being chill u carry around a knifeBegoneThot: lotor carries around fucking hairsprayBegoneThot: at least keith's is usefulHunkofluv: Bf defense squad is here lol------------------------------------[[CURRENTLY ON HIATUS]]





	1. Peanut butter poptarts

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, first fanfic on ao3! I have a wattpad but like im going to post more here now that I've actually got an account. UUUUUMMMM idk if you wanna go follow me but if ya do my name is @g8001029 and I go by SeaEnemy on there too. Nothing negative please this is just pure crack for the soul lmao!
> 
> I don't own the trash bin known as Voltron, yada yada yada.
> 
> Enjoy Oranges!
> 
>  
> 
> (yes I call my followers oranges cause im an original bitch)

**Group chat >> Gay Dream Meme Machine Team**

**Pidgetspinner >> Hunkofluv, Raginghomomullet, Alluring AF, FuckedupEdwardElric, BegoneThot, Corn, Mattimus Prime, PrinceLotion, Shayofsunshine**

**[12:34 P.M.]**

**Pidgetspinner:**  guys

 **Pidgetspinner:**  where. TF. IS. MY. PB????

 **PrinceLotion:**?????

 **Shayofsunshine:** Yes I am confused as well please explain??

 **Pidgetspinner:** sorry forgot we had foreigners in the room

 **Pidgetspinner:** WHERE TF IS MY PEANUT BUTTER??

 **Raginghomomullet:**  dun dun dun

 **Hunkofluv:** crunchy or smooth?

 **BegoneThot:**  y not both

 **Pidgetspinner:**  yea y not both hunk

 **Mattimus Prime:** explain to us hunk

 **Hunkofluv:**  I just came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn

 **BegoneThot:** srsly tho pb is disgusting 

 **Pidgetspinner:** Listen just bc u get headaches from the best fucking food in the world doesn't mean u get to hate on it

 **Pidgetspinner:** Bitch

 **Raginghomomullet:**  Oh shit

 **Raginghomomullet:** called out

 **BegoneThot:**  MOM DAD THE TINY ONE IS BEING MEAN

 **FuckedupEdwardElric:**  no

 **Alluring AF:** Not rn

 **Mattimus Prime:**  You have been stopped

 **Pidgetspinner:** WHERE IS MY FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER

 **Raginghomomullet:** chill

 **Alluring AF:** Boi don't even talk about being chill u carry around a knife

 **BegoneThot:** lotor carries around fucking hairspray

 **BegoneThot:**  at least keiths is useful

 **Hunkofluv:**  Bf defense squad is here lol

 **PrinceLotion:**  Have u never been sprayed in the face with hairspray????

 **BegoneThot:**  no bc im not retarded

 **Mattimus Prime:**  Burn

 **BegoneThot:** It's not burning it's drowning bc mama says it's bad to burn trash

 **FuckedupEdwardElric:**  What has happened to my children

 **Mattimus Prime:**  DRAAAAAAAGGGG HHHIIIMMM

 **Shayofsunshine:** Oh my

 **Hunkofluv:**  HOLY-

 **Alluring AF:**  even I have to admit that's good sorry lotor 

 **Corn:** I have risen to be proud of my boy

 **Raginghomomullet:**  this is y ily lance

 **BegoneThot:** I know boo

 **PrinceLotion:**  If I have to die for klance to happen I will do it

 **Alluring Af:** Omg lotor

 **Alluring AF:** Relatable but no

 **Pidgetspinner:**  I still want my fucking pb

_**BegoneThot** has changed group chat name to  **Where's pidges pb**_

**BegonThot:**  I'll change it back once pidge calms their tits

 **Pidgetspinner:** bitch

 **BegoneThot:** jerk

 **Raginghomomullet:**  Assbutt

 **Mattimus Prime:**  B A L L S

 **Hunkofluv:**  How did we go from pb to spn I don't see any relation???

 **Alluring AF:** Spn relates to everything hunk

 **Alluring AF:**  EVERYTHING

 **Hunkofluv:**  Ok?

 **Hunkofluv:** Anyways Im making some homemade peanut butter pop tarts if u want some

 **BegoneThot:**  Is that what that fucking smell is???

 **Pidgetspinner:** Hunk

 **Pidgetspinner:**  M A R R Y M E

 **Hunkofluv:** Sorry already promised to shay

 **Shayofsunshine:** H U N K

 **Pidgetspinner:**  We can share 

 **Pidgetspinner:**  Im coming over rn btw

_**Pidgetspinner** has left the chat_

**BegoneThot:**  Keith come pick me up im getting a headache

 **Raginghomomullet:**  why should I ???

 **BegoneThot:**  I have ice cream

 **BegoneThot:**  it's strawberry

 **Raginghomomullet:**  omw

_**Raginghomomullet** has left the chat_

**BegoneThot:** ** __**lactose intolerent fucker has a death wish istg

_**BegoneThot**  has left the chat_

**Mattimus Prime:**  all around me are familiar faces

 **Mattimus Prime:** Worn out places

 **Alluring AF:**  Oh hush u big baby im going to the movies with lotor want to come?

 **Mattimus Prime:** HELL YEA

 **FuckedupEdwardElric:** Im coming too

 **PrinceLotion:** I hope nothing gets broken this time 

 **Mattimus Prime:**  Cough shiro cough allura cough

 **Corn:** my what happened while I was gone

 **Mattimus Prime:** Literally everyone forgot u were in this chat

 **Mattimus Prime:** Sorry space uncle gotta go

_**Mattimus prime**  has left the chat_

_**Alluring AF** has left the chat_

_**FuckedupEdwardElric**  has left the chat_

_**PrinceLotion**  has left the chat_

**Corn:** Lonely~

 **Corn:**  So very lonely~

_**Corn** has left the group chat_


	2. shiro's Japanese ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shiro is a little shit, matt is even shittier, everyone is the supportive family we love, pidge writes a book, klance's height comes into question, and lance does a stupid.

**Group chat >> tfw you start to question who's taller in klance**

**Shirt >> DoorMatt, Laxative, HunkyMonkey, Spacequeen, Pidgenator, Coranicmechanic, Spicyemoboi, InnocentOne, PrinceTrolltor**

**[5:15 P.M]**

_**Shirt** has changed  **DoorMatt** To  **Mashu**_

**Mashu:**  Oh we're going to do this now

 **Mashu:**  Ok

_**Mashu** has changed  **Shirt** to  **Takashit**_

**Takashit:** we're over

 **Pidgenator:**  as your technical sibling in law I forbid u from leaving my bro

 **Spicyemoboi:**  as your actual bro I forbid u from leaving matt

 **Spacequeen:** as your gf I forbid u from leaving matt

 **Laxative:** i love how supportive this family is

 **HunkyMonkey:**  me too

 **Laxative:** also why is _Mate_  upset about being called "mashu" am i missing something????

 **Mashu:**  Binch dont u start 

 **Laxative:**  and wtf is up with the chat title???

 **Pidgenator:** 1\. it involves the funny story of when takashit over here met my bro and his Japanese ass couldn't figure how to pronounce matt in english for awhile  so he just embarrassed matt for the whole first 3 months they knew each other by calling him mashu and he accidentally called him that last night so now matt is salty

 **Pidgenator:**  2. since keith has grown a few inches we're not entirely sure who's taller anymore, u or him

 **PrinceTrolltor:** thx for the book

 **Pidgenator:** listen enjoy the simple version the whole thing would be a three-part series love story

 **Takashit:**  I think it's adorable

 **Spacequeen:**  Yeah me too

 **Spacequeen:** Appreciate the love matt

 **Laxative** : are we all just going to ignore the fact that me and keith aren't actually a thing

 **Spicyemoboi:** yea wtf pidge ???

 **InnocentOne:**  wait you are not a couple???

 **HunkyMonkey:**  IKR THEY'RE PRACTICALLY MARRIED

 **Laxative:** can you chill?

 **HunkyMonkey:**  I WILL NOT REST UNTIL KLANCE IS CANON

 **Spicyemoboi:** no

 **Laxative:**  see this is y it wont happen

 **InnocentOne:**  I am concerned, the oldest one of holts has not responded, is he alright?

 **Laxative:** he's in my apartment eating ice cream with coran while screaming about how there's no pb

 **Laxative:** didnt know it ran in the family wow

 **Laxative:**  some1 come get him jus cause im group therapist deosnt mean im gonna listen 2 him scream abt pb

 **PrinceTrolltor:** u know when lance's grammar gets this bad he's serious

 **Laxative:** stfu u Legolas lookin ass

 **Spicyemoboi:** nice

 **Laxative:**  thx boo

 **HunkyMonkey:** SEE THIS IS WHAT I MEAN

 **Spicyemoboi:** can I not compliment him???

 **Laxative:** can I not appreciate his compliment????

 **Spacequeen:**  #powercouplegoals

 **Spacequeen:** srsly tho look at this lmao

 ** _Spacequeen_** _has sent a file:_ AWWWLOOKATALLTHEBLACKMAIl.jpg

 **Laxative:**  omg is that why matt is screaming I thought coran just made him drop his ice cream lol

 **Pidgenator:** is shiro srsly carrying my bro over his shoulder while u take pics???

 **Pidgenator:**  I expect some of that sent to me

 **Spacequeen:** of course ****

 **Coranicmechanic:** why was matt just kidnapped from lances apartment????

 **Pidgenator:** why r u even there coran???

 **Pidgenator:**  also matt was being salty

 **Laxative:**  no reason!

 **Laxative:**  hes just helping me with a project!

 **HunkyMonkey:**  bud whats with the exclamation points

 **Mashu:**  i sens akwardness wu hapenenin

 **Pidgenator:**  Wow good grammar bro

 **Mashu:**  stfu

 **Coranicmechanic:**  lance required some help on a biology progect and I was happy to help with research

 **Coranicmechanic:**  isnt there another person joining us as well

 **Laxative:**  o yea plaxum is comin over too

 **Spacequeen:**  ooohhh i haven't talked to her in 4ever!!

 **Coranicmechanic:**  she is your new gf right lance?

 **Pidgenator:**  HOLD THE PHONE LANCE HAS A WHAT

 **HunkyMonkey:** TFFTFYGOYGTD6R67YHUHIHUF6R7YGHU9H87FR6FVGYUHN

 **InnocentOne:** Oh MY wHAt

 **Laxative:**  good fuckin goin coran

 **Coranicmechanic:**  No problem my boy!

 **Spacequeen:** WHAT IN QUIZNACKS NAME HAVE YOU DONE???

 **Laxative:**  im gonna die

 **Spicyemoboi:**  where's my knife

 **Laxative:**  o gOD

 **Takashit:** THAT IS ILLEGAL U R UNDER ARREST

 **Takashit:**  srry matt stole my phone bUT LANCE NO

 **PrinceTrolltor:**  who do I need to kill

 **Laxative:**  well

 **Laxative:**  I hate this family

_**Laxative** has left the chat_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said the pacing is absolutely terrible but I wanted to get to one of the major plot points of the story because if I didn't then hhhhoooo boy this story would be going on for a long time. I promise the pacing gets better though, I already have the next chapter written up! I may also be editing along the way because these chapters obviously aren't super long so like I may be editing the story on wattpad too so if something is different on wattpad than here its because I haven't gotten around to editing that version. Did that make sense? I think it did lmao.
> 
> Anyways, im gonna shut my trap now.
> 
> Peace, oranges!


	3. Hi welcome to hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge is a conniving bitch, Matt is a proud bro, Coran thinks something is up, Hunk is concerned, Shay is just there for the ride, Lotor is way into it, Allura is lowkey into it, Lance should trust his gut more, and Shiro craves death per usual.
> 
> Oh and Keith is an Easy Kill Oven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't???? Know?? Anymore???
> 
> All I know is everyone's a mood and we stan okay?
> 
> Hope you enjoy orange peels>

**[2:13 A.M.]**

_**Birb is the word** has created a new group chat_

_**Birb is the word** has named new group chat  **F is for fix the Gay Thots**_

_**Birb is the word** has added  **Matterhorn, DrEaMdAdDy, LegolasFuckBoi900, Space Alpaca, Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay, Pure Shayshine, Crayon**_

**Birb is the word** : LeT'S gEt DOwn T0 bUS1n3$$

 **Birb is the word:**  AR3 u R3dY NaUGhTy Ch1LDr3n?????

 **DrEaMdAdDy** : wtf pidge its 2 in the morning

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:**  If this is what I think it's about I hope ur prepared for it to backfire

 **Matterhorn:**  Y E S S S S S 

 **Matterhorn:**  My dear sibling I L o v e y o u

 **Space Alpaca:** As long as no one is getting murdered i'm in as well  

 **LegolasFuckBoi900:**  But murder is fun

 **Pure Shayshine:** It's really not

 **Birb** **is the word:**  SHUSH U PINE CONES

 **Birb is the word:** LET ME EXPLAIN U A THING

 **Birb is the word:**  WE"S GONNA GET THE OBLIVIOUS EMO FUCKER AND THE PINNING THOT 2GETHER

 **Birb is the word:** BC U COULD LITERALLY CUT THEIR SEXUAL TENSION WITH 

 **Birb is the word:**  A 

 **Birb is the word:**  FUCKING

 **Birb is the word:** _PLASTIC_

 **Birb is the word:** KNIFE

 **DrEaMdAdDy:** kill me now pls

 **Matterhorn:**  We all know u crave death shiro but chill

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:** r we sure this is a good idea??

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:** lance could get hurt

 **Birb is the word:** hunk

 **Birb is the word:** ily

 **Birb is the word:** but now is not the time

 **Matterhorn:** u wanna know what i'm craving?

 **Matterhorn:**   Info on lances gf

 **Birb is the word:**  MA T T

 **Birb is the word:**  U GENIUS

 **Birb is the word:**  CORAN U ORANGE FUCK GIVE US THE DEETS

 **Matterhorn:**  pidge i'm disappointed in u 

 **Matterhorn:**  No one says that anymore

 **Matterhorn:**  i'm disowning u

 **Matterhorn:**  ur not my sibling anymore

 **Birb is the word:**  DO U WANT THE GAYS 2GETHER OR NAH

 **Matterhorn:** CORAN GIVE US ALL THE DEETS U GOT

 **Birb is the word:**  ATTA BOI

 **DrEaMdAdDy:**  if it gets Keith to stop talking about how perfect lance looks in water then, by all means, go ahead  

 **Crayon:**  Hello

 **Pure Shayshine:**  Oh no

 **Birb is the word:**  A T T A C K

 ** **Matterhorn** :** CORAN OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR TELL US WHAT YOU  K N O W 

 **Crayon:**   ??????

 **Crayon:** Well her name is plaxum

 **Birb is the word:** already knew that

 **Matterhorn:** SHHHHH let him finish

 **DrEaMdAdDy:** omfg

 **Crayon:** she seems like a very sweet girl and is super polite 

 **Crayon:**  I believe lance met her at the aquarium??

 **Crayon:** So far she's been nothing but kind and from what I understand she is studying marine biology

 **LegolasFuckBoi900:**  I'm sure i can track her down in hr or less

 **LegolasFuckBoi900:** how would u like me to handle her

 **Space Alpaca:**   We r not kidnapping either!!!

 **Space Alpaca:**  Listen does lance seem really into her

 **Space Alpaca:** Like really _really_  into her???

 **Space Alpaca:**  Like freshman year lance going after me kind of into her?? ? ??

 **Crayon:**  Not really sure, she didn't stick around too long 

 **Crayon:**  She only stayed for about an hour

 **Crayon:**  and even then her and lance were just

 **Crayon:**  there

 **Crayon:**  like they didn't really do anything except make a few jokes here and there

 **Crayon:** They just worked??

 **Crayon:** I believe what im trying to say is making sense?? **  
**

**Pure Shayshine:**  yes its quite odd

 **LegolasFuckBoi900:**  srry im lost what do you mean

 **Pure shayshine:** Oh nothing

 **Pure shayshine:**  its curious how someone who lance shares an intimate relationship with would not try and stay around him for longer

 **Pure shayshine:** or express their love towards him at any given chance

 **Matterhorn:** O shiet

 **Birb is the word:**  Something smells liKE TUNA

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:** shay

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:**   my sunflower

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:** ur amazing  

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:**  but pls stop instigating

 **Space Alpaca:**  so what shall we do

 **Birb is the word:**  WE MAKE A P L A N

 **LegolasFuckBoi900:** I can keep an eye on r not so secret homewrecker

 **Birb is the word:**  OK LOTOR IS ON WATCH DUTY

 **Birb is the word:** IF THE FISH STARTS ACTIN FISHY

 **Birb is the word:**  CALL LIFE ALERT

 **Birb is the word:**  AKA US

 **Birb is the word:**  LURA AN SHIRO R ON OPERATION: KEEP KEITH PINING AND OUT OF THE PIT KNOWN AS DEPRESSION

 **Birb is the word:**  GOD KNOWS WHAT THAT FUCKER WILL DO WHEN HE GIVES UP HIS FEELINGS

 **DrEaMdAdDy** : trust me its bad

 **DrEaMdAdDy** : Ill do it for the sake of my sanity

 **DrEaMdAdDy** : And the fact that I cant handle keith crying over lances "beautiful skin" evry night

 **Space Alpaca:**  Im in as well, keiths mood will kill my vibes 

 **Space Alpaca:**  I rlly dont want that

 **Birb is the word:**  GOOD GREAT AWESOME

 **Birb is the word:**  SHAY AN HUNK R ON OPERATION: KEEP LANCE FROM KNOWING ABOUT OUR ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES

 **Birb is the word:** AKA THIS PLAN

 **Pure shayshine:**  I'm sure we will have no problem in the execution of this part of the plan

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:** i didnt even agree!

 **Matterhorn:** Ju s T dO i T!! ! !

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:** this is peer pressure

 **Gordon_Frickin_Ramsay:** no one can say i didn't warn them!

 **Pure shayshine:** Thank you love

 **Birb is the word:**  WONDERFUL

 **Birb is the word:**  MATT UR WITH ME

 **Birb is the word:**  WE GONNA DO A LITTLE RESEARCH ON A FISH

 **Matterhorn:** Cant wait my dear sibling

 **Birb is the word:**  Plan F for fix the Gay Thots IS A GO!!

 **DrEaMdAdDy** : Yay  

\---------------------------

**LanceMachine >> AngelFish**

**[2:43 A.M. ]**

**LanceMachine:**  idk y but i just got a very bad feeling

 **AngelFish:**  I told u this was a bad idea

 **LanceMachine:**  listen nyma is on vacation wit rolo so she  was out and we all know swirn would've experimented on me or straight up told them so u were the only one left

 **AngelFish:**  if things go south im leavin u behind

 **LanceMachine:**  o o f

 **LanceMachine:**  im wounded

 _ **AngelFish** has sent a file:_ orlly.png

 **LanceMachine:** I luv u

 _ **AngelFish** has sent a file: _Rusureboutdat.gif

 **LanceMachine:**  Ha Ha vry funny

 **AngelFish:**  Gn lance

 **LanceMachine:** UGH gn

\---------------------------

**Easy Kill Oven >> Backup Parental Unit**

**[2:59 A.M.]**

**Easy Kill Oven:**  I know u up to smth u piece of fuck

 **Backup Parental Unit:**  ??????

 **Easy Kill Oven:**  u aint slick

 **Easy Kill Oven:**  I got my eyes on u

 **Backup Parental Unit:**  Keith go to bed

 **Easy Kill Oven:**  thers a reason my name is easy kill oven shiro

 **Easy Kill Oven:**  watch ur toned ass bitch

 **Backup Parental Unit:**  why are you like this?? ? ?? ? ?

 

 


	4. Holy Jesus cracker save me from my sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith denies being a bottom, Lance has a date, Hunay is goals, Pidge and Lotor lowkey bond for like .5 seconds, Allura and Shiro hold an intervention, and Keith is a flaming gay when drunk.
> 
> Oh and Lance needs Keith to stab someone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya'll want some gay bc here you go
> 
> enjoy u thirsty oranges
> 
> Little Birb/LordandSaviour = Pidge
> 
> Emu Birb/KoGAYne/McKeeferson = Keith
> 
> Daddy Birb/FaThErfAtHEr: = Shiro
> 
> Big Birb/Pooh Bear = Hunk
> 
> Pure Birb/Brown sugar = Shay
> 
> Momma Birb/ Poodle puff = Allura
> 
> Carrot Birb = Coran 
> 
> Meme Birb = Matt
> 
> PurpleGrape/McDaddyissues = Lotor
> 
> Thotty Birb/God is Lance = Lance

**Group chat >> Every inch of you is perfect from the lance to the keith**

**Little Birb >> Emu Birb, Thotty Birb, Momma Birb, Daddy Birb, Big Birb, Pure Birb, Meme Birb, PurpleGrape, Carrot Birb**

**[10:55 A.M.]**

**Little Birb:** SuP FuCKeRS

 **Meme Birb:**  R we sure keith isnt just a power bottom??? 

 **Emu Birb:** wtf

 **Emu Birb:**  I aint no fuckin bottom bitch

 **Big Birb:**  i ca n practically feel the accent

 **Thotty Birb:** like keef could top

 **Little Birb:**  the fact that you just called hm "keef" furthers my point 

 **Little Birb:** that u

 **Little Birb:**  r a bottom

 **Daddy Birb:**  Why r we having this conversation

 **Daddy Birb:**  so early in the morning??? ?

 **Mommy Birb:** shiro sweety its almost 11

 **Daddy Birb:** I blame matt

 **Meme Birb:** he didnt want to snuggle :'(

 **Little Birb:** ew stop being domestic

 _ **Mommy Birb**  has sent a file:_ They'resoadorablewtf.jpg

 **Big Birb:**  since when did matt have a six pack

 **Meme Birb:**  excuse

 **Big Birb:**  jk jk you look good

 **Pure Birb:** shiro as well

 **Thotty Birb:**  fist me daddy

 **Emu Birb:**  i jus threw up a little in my mouth

 **Little Birb:**  stfu ur stuffin ur face w my poptarts rn u ho

 _ **Little Birb** has sent a file: _ubetternoteatthemall.jpg

 **PurpleGrape:** I was not expecting my saturday morning to be blessed w keith kogane

  **PurpleGrape:**  In a bright ass neon blue shirt 

 **PurpleGrape:**  That says "im a gay shark doo doo"

 **Emu Birb:**  lotor I can appreciate ur good  looks but istg if you start hitting on me I will personally assassinate u

 **Thotty Birb:** #keithisofflimits

 **Pure Birb:**  Lance i uderstand keith already made that clear himself but why did you repeat it?

 **Pure Birb:** Also, why do you get to dictate if he is or isnt

 **Pure Birb:**  shouldnt you be more concerned about that kinda thing with your girlfriend????

 **Thotty Birb:**  uuuuhhhhhh

 **Mommy Birb:**  oof

 **Daddy Birb:**  It

 **Daddy Birb:**  is

 **Daddy Birb:**  to 

 **Daddy Birb:**  fucking 

 **Daddy Birb:**  early

 **Meme Birb:** ANYWAYS

 **Meme Birb:**  hows ur gf lance ;) 

 **Pure Birb:** Matt please stop with the emoticons

 **Big Birb:** yea dude pls

 **Meme Birb:** this is discrimination

 **Thotty Birb:**  plaxum is gr8 actually~!!!

 **Thotty Birb:** we're going on a date later so i have get off in few min

 ** _Little Birb_** _has sent a file:_ Idontknowwhatthisfaceisbutitsablessing.jpg

 **Big birb:**  keith are you ok dude?

 **Emu Birb:**  yea a piece of poptart just went down the wrong pipe

 **Little Birb:**  uh huh sure

 **Emu Birb:**  S h u t

 **Thotty birb:** i am so lost

 **Daddy Birb:** you get used to it

 **Meme Birb:**  yO WanT S o mE fu c K

 **Daddy Birb:** sigh

 **Carrot Birb:** Its all right shiro i don't understand either!

 **Thotty Birb:**  coran ur the vodka aunt u understand everythin

 **Carrot Birb:** Well, if you say so

 **Little Birb:**  BEFORE THIS CONVERSATION SPIRALS OUT OF CONTROL

 **Little Birb:**  i think we should all let magic mike get ready for his date

 **Big Birb:**  yea go get ready lance!

 **Pure Birb:**  we will talk to you later!

 **Mommy Birb:**  go make urself bootiful love

 **Daddy Birb:**  be polite

 **Meme Birb:** and make sure you have a condom!

 **Thotty Birb:**  its??? lunch????

 **PurpleGrape:** that is disgusting

 **Meme Birb:**  lotor u dont know shit

 **Carrot Birb:**  good luck my boy!

 **Emu Birb:** if you need me to stab someone just call

 **Thotty Birb:**  Aw thx boo

 **Thotty Birb:**  see u l8er losers

\---------------------------

**Pooh Bear >> Brown sugar**

**[11:15 A.M.]**

**Pooh Bear:**  Hey sugar

 **Brown Sugar:** Hello love

 **Pooh Bear:**  I just wanna say good job pinpointing lances crap but

 **Pooh Bear:**  pls be a little less harsh

 **Pooh Bear:** I dont want him to get hurt

 **Brown sugar:** oh hunk

 **Brown sugar:** you are so caring

 **Brown sugar:** I promise I will bring my level down

 **Brown sugar:** I love you my honey bear

 **Pooh Bear:** I love you too sugar!

 **Pooh Bear:** thank you for understanding love

 **Brown sugar:** anything for you

 **Pooh Bear:** you wanna go on a date later

 **Brown sugar:**  I would most enjoy that

 **Pooh Bear:**  alright sugar ill pick you up around 12?

 **Brown sugar:**  sounds lovely

 **Pooh Bear:** Luv u

 **Brown sugar:** luv you more

 **Pooh Bear:** No I do

 **Brown sugar:** no i

 **Pooh Bear:** im not fighting you on this I do

 **Brown sugar:**  I love you the most and you cannot deny this fact

 **Pooh Bear:**  omg I love you soo much you cant even meassure it

 **Brown sugar:** H u nk

 **Brown sugar:** I must get ready but we're not done

 **Pooh Bear:** alright sugar love you

\---------------------------

**LordandSaviour >> McDaddyissues**

**[11:25 A.M.]**

**LordandSaviour:**  u got eyes??

 _ **McDaddyissues** has sent a file:_ Indeed.jpg

 **LordandSaviour:**  aight try and keep ur eyes on them for as long as you can

 **McDaddyissues:**  I have narti and axca here as well

 **LordandSaviour:** awesome sauce dude extra eyes are good

 **LordandSaviour:**  I mean eyes and ears

 **McDaddyissues:** narti takes no offense if you're worried

 **McDaddyissues:**  her hearing is quite impecable though

 **LordandSaviour:**  i wasnt worried u bitch

 **McDaddyissues:** mmmm whatever you say

 **LordandSaviour:**  just pay attention u ho

 **McDaddyissues:**  ill let you know if anything happens

 **LordandSaviour:**  u better

 **LordandSaviour:** i dint hack lances location jus for u to lose him

 **McDaddyissues:**  ik ttyl

\---------------------------

**Group chat >> This is for your own good**

**FaThErfAtHEr >> Poodle puff, koGAYne**

**[11:43 A.M.]**

**FaThErfAtHEr:** I just heard Keith groan

 **Poodle puff:** he better suck it up

_**KoGAYne** has left the chat_

**FaThErfAtHEr:**  sigh

_**FaThErfAtHEr** has added  **koGAYne**_

_**KoGAYne** has left the chat  _

_**FaThErfAtHEr** has added  **koGAYne**_

_**KoGAYne** has left the chat    _

**Poodle puff:** let me

_**Poodle puff** has added  **KoGAYne**_

**KoGAYne:**  fffffFFFU U Ck K

 **Poodle puff:** stop this nonsense keith

 **FaThErfAtHEr:**  we just want to talk

 **KoGAYne:**  thers nothing to talk abt

 **Poodle puff:**  Oh yes totally

 **Poodle puff:**  Its not like I can taste the pinning coming from you 

 **FaThErfAtHEra:** I have enough phone call recordings and videos from pidge as evidence

 **FaThErfAtHEr:** dont deny it keith 

 **KoGAYne:**  oh mY GOD

 **KoGAYne:**  I KNEw YOU WERE UP TI SOMETHIMG

 **KoGAYne:**  PREPARE TO DIE YOU FUCKER

 **FaThErfAtHEr:** you cant get into my room anymore remember

 **KoGAYne:**  i fucking hate matt

 **FaThErfAtHEr:** listen you sassy child ur at my house its not my fault

 **KoGAYne:**  he didnt need to put an ELECTICAL LOCK ON YOUR DOOR

 **Poodle puff:**  nevermind that tell us about your totally not obvious crush on lance

 **KoGAYne:**  i have no fuckin clue what ur talking abt

 ** _FaThErfAtHEr_** _has sent a video:_   Ihavealltheevidence.mp4

 **KoGAYne:**  WHY ERW U RECORDING

 **FaThErfAtHEr:**  you showed up drunk at my door with a half-empty vodka bottle what was I supposed to do?

 **FaThErfAtHEr:** considering your underage and only a senior you should be happy this is the only thing I did

 **KoGAYne:**  this is wut i get for being friends with college students isnt it

 **Poodle puff:**  W H E E Z E

 **Poodle puff:**  "i didnt know a human like lance could exist until i fought him over those stupid veggie fries in that dollar store at 3 am"

 **Poodle puff:** OMG K EI TH

 **Poodle puff:**  "I have never felt this gay for someone in my entire life and i knew james for like the first 13 years of it"

 **Poodle puff:**  I am deceased

 **Poodle puff:**  "oh my GOD he is so tall what the hell what i would give to be trapped between him and a wall"

 **Poodle puff:**  keith is A BOTTO M CO NFIR MED

 **FaThErfAtHEr:** oh yeah I forgot you said that 

 **KoGAYne:**  shiro i suggest you make sure ur security is on tonight

 **Poodle puff:**  nononononNNOOoNN OM G WAIT

 **Poodle puff:**  "jesus christ on a cruch i just wanna be smothered by him like i know i fight him a lot but if he stepped on me i would love him forever"

 **Poodle puff:**  "DO YOU UNDERSTAND SHIRO!?"

 **Poodle puff:** "I WOULD DIE FOR HIM OKAY??!!??"

 **Poodle puff:**  keith i am dead

 **Poodle puff:** i am gone

 **Poodle puff:**  bless your soul

 **Poodle puff:** you need to be drunk more often

 **FaThErfAtHEr:** llura we dont condone underaged drinking 

 **KoGAYne:**  im going to go kermit suicide

\--------------------------

**God is lance >> McKeeferson**

**[1:37 P.M.]**

**God is lance:**  remember when u offered to stab someone if I needed u too

 **McKeeferson:**  yea?

 **God is lance:**  i need you to murder a dick

 **McKeeferson:**  where

 **God is lance:**  the dairy queen on 15th st

 **McKeeferson:**  Omw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HaHAhAhAAhHAHAhA THE PLOT THICKENS BITCHES


	5. ARBY'S: WE HAVE THE MEMES™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith was a badass, counteracted that badassness by being a koala, Lance doesn't know how to feel, Pidge is suffering because everyone is idiots, Shiro is tired, Matt is going to jail, Allura is just there for the ride, Lotor is a stalker, no one pays attention in class, Coran wishes that they actually would, memes consume everything, hunay is pure, and Keith and Lance communicate in strange ways.
> 
> Oh, and they're still fucking oblivious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HMMMMMM I don't like the way this chapter played out, especially considering I had planned on touching the bigger plot in this chapter. It just feels very filler esc. But I've already tweaked it so much and missed the planned due date like 3 weeks ago so im just gonna post this. This chapter is hella long though, 2453 words, Jesus christ my eyes hurt. I hope everyone enjoys the slightly longer chapter, and I hope I have the next chapter out soon!
> 
> BI BI HO/OcEaNmAn = Lance
> 
> Jeepers Keithers/Knifesexual = Keith
> 
> Soft/Wrestle Boi/T h i c c c = Hunk
> 
> Saltiest Fry/Pidgeroni/Mattcosplay = Pidge
> 
> Honeybun/Shayk and Bake/Rocky road me harder =Shay
> 
> RataMatt/Mattrix system = Matt
> 
> Shit yo/ShirNO = Shiro
> 
> Allura Borealis/Lulu = Allura
> 
> MrStalker/Regina George = Lotor
> 
> Space uncle/Moostachio

**Group chat >>  That Just Happened™**

**BI BI HO >> Jeepers Keithers, Soft, Saltiest fry, RataMatt, Shit yo, Allura Borealis, Space uncle, MrStalker, Honeybun**

**[5:23 A.M.]**

**BI BI HO:**  so uh

 _ **BI BI HO** has sent a video:  _keithisabadass.mp4

 **Saltiest fry:** WOAMF 

 **Saltiest fry:**  WH AT HAPPENED

 **Soft:**  om god lance are you okay???

 **RataMatt:**  As an adult I am concerned

 **Shit yo:** I swear if this is real keith better have an explanation

 **Allura Borealis:**  Why is keith beating someone to death again???

 **MrStalker:**  what happened????? ??

 **Honeybun:**  are you all okay?

 **Space uncle:** My boy do you need assistance???

 **BI BI HO:** WE'RE ALL OKAY NO NEED TO FRET

 **Saltiest fry:** still doesn't tell us wut happened dude

 **BI BI HO:** basically me and plax headed to dairy queen and then i was gonna drop her off at her house

 **BI BI HO:**  but like some dick came up to us as we were leaving and started talking shit

 **BI BI HO:**  he started sayin how i was too "feminine" because i was wearing a crop top and plax has like 3 inches on me 

 **BI BI HO:**  and like how plax should be w a "real man" like him

 **BI BI HO:**  I wasnt gonna take that shit so I called him out saying "a real man wouldn't be throwing his superiority complex issues all over the place just to compensate for his little dick energy"

 **Allura Borealis:** oooooohhh that didnt end well did it??

 **BI BI HO:** nope

 **BI BI HO:**  he got like mega pissed and tried to pound my ass

 **BI BI HO:**  too bad for him tho because i took martial arts as a kid and like normal self defense

 **BI BI HO:**  not to mention im a dancer and swimmer so i've got the upper hand in speed here

 **BI BI HO:**   anyways we tussle for a bit and he manages to slap plax across the face which kinda throws me off and he knocks me to the ground

 **BI BI HO:** and then he tried to make a break for it but like

 **BI BI HO:**  i had texted keith when the shit show had started

 **BI BI HO:**  and he showed up right as the dude was trying to get away and beat the shit out of him :')

 **Saltiest fry:**  please tell me the dude was arrested

 **BI BI HO:**  yea plax started filming the instant he opened his mouth

 **BI BI HO:**  we had to sign a few pieces of paper and give a statement but we were all let go

 **Shit yo:**  wheres Keith?

 **BI BI HO:** Plax got dropped off at her house by a cruiser and keith took us back to the apartment on his bike

 **BI BI HO:**  he took a shit ton of ibuprofen and passed out 

 **BI BI HO:** hunk my man why arent you home??

 **Soft:**  im at shays!!!

 **Soft:**  if I was there tho we would be in a cuddle pile and I wouldnt let any of you go

 **BI BI HO:**  were fine i promise

 **BI BI HO:**  keith just busted his knuckles a little and my knees are scraped

 **Shit yo:** I guess I won't ground Keith this time

 **MrStalker:**  if you all are alright im going back to bed

 **Saltiest fry** : aw does the bb need his beauty sleep

 **MrStalker:** shut your trap

 **Saltiest fry:**  no thx

 **Shit yo:**  matt and allura are both abt to pass out tbh

 **Soft:**  shay is in the same boat

 **Saltiest fry:**  wait wait shiro dont u guys have a lecture today

 **Shit yo:**  ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuck

 **Jeepers Keithers:**  watch ur fuckin language

 **Saltiest fry:**  the badass lives

 _ **BI BI HO** has sent a file: _koalakeith.jpg

 **BI BI HO:**  since when was keith so 

 **BI BI HO:** clingy????

 **Saltiest fry:**  HAHAHA 

 **Saltiest fry:** feel my pain

 **Shit yo:** he does this every time he wakes up and theres a human being within his general area

 **Shit yo:** glad to see old habits die hard  

 **BI BI HO:** oh m y go d i feel like im go ing to bust a lung guys he l p

 **Saltiest fry:**  how do you think I FEEL

 **Saltiest fry:**  I LIVE WITH THAT THING

 **Soft:**  lance you're no better

 **Soft:**  you literally cuddle anyone willing to put up with you

 **BI BI HO:**  this is biphobic

 **Allura Borealis:** this reminds me

_**Allura Borealis**  has changed group chat name to  **Keith is a bottom bitch**_

**Jeepers Keithers:** fuck u

 **RataMatt:**  I TOLD YOU

 **BI BI HO:** am i missing something??

 **Soft:**  nah im confused too

 **HoneyBun** : me as well

 **Saltiest fry:** keith is gay for veggie fries

J **eepers Keithers:**  i thought i could trust u

 **Shit yo:** and vodka

 **Jeepers Keithers:** blocked and unfriended

 **Space uncle:** if you all dont mind the interruption

 **Space uncle:**  I believe Allura, shiro, and matt all have a 3 hr lecture today 

 **Space uncle:**  and you youngins all have school

 **HoneyBun:**  does lotor not have any classes today???

 **MrStalker:**  nope

 **RataMatt:** i fuckin hat you lotor

 **BI BI HO:**  hat

 **Saltiest fry:**  hat

 **Shit yo:** hat

 **Allura Borealis:**  hat 

 **Jeepers Keithers:**  hat

 **Soft:**  hat

 **HoneyBun:**  hat 

 **Space uncle:** hat

 **MrStalker:**  hat

 **RataMatt:**  im gonna go stick my head in the oven

\---------------------------

**Group chat >> F is for fix the gay thots**

**Pidgeroni >> Mattrix system, ShirNO, Lulu, Regina George, Wrestle boi, Shayk and Bake, Moostachio**

**[8:37 P.M.]**

**Pidgeroni:** not to be that one fangirl but like

 **Pidgeroni:**  #Kick.jpg

 **Wrestle boi:** is that lances hoodie??

 **Shayk and Bake:**  oh my goodness that is adorable!

 **Pidgeroni:**  lmao hes basically swimming in it

 **Pidgeroni:** #Kick2.jpg

 **Pidgeroni:**  keith said he didnt feel like driving all the way to the apartment so he just stole lances hoodie and wore the same pants

 **Pidgeroni:**  like i believe that 

 **Wrestle boi:**  keith just wanted to wear his hoodie amirite?

 **Pidgeroni:**  totally

 **Mattrix system:**  I ship it real good

 **Pidgeroni:**  shouldn't you be paying attention to your lecture???

 **Mattrix system:**  eh ulaz doesn't care

 **Mattrix system:**  lura started playing candy crush as soon as she sat down

 **Mattrix system:**  im pretty sure shiro is asleep too

 **Mattrix system:**  nope nvm he up

 **Lulu:**  KLANCE IS CANON KKIIIIINNGG

 **Regina George:** agree 11/10

 **ShirNO:** keith has been pining after him ever since they first met

 **ShirNO:**  3 years of pining

 **ShirNO:**  they better end up together by the end of the year or im locking them in a closet 

 **Shayk and Bake:**  I completely forgot they met all the way back in sophomore year

 **Pidgeroni:**  yea and then matt and shiro sent the satan spawn to live with me bc allura was moving in

 **Pidgeroni:**  and for some reason lance started that weird ass rivalry between them when school started

 **Pidgeroni:**  even though keith told me that lance literally hugged him twice when they first met

 **Wrestle boi:**  sounds like lance

 **Lulu:**  he most likely realized that he was actually whipped for the boy and was like 

 **Lulu:**  "shit gotta compensate for warming up to him so fast"

 **Regina George:** why must they be so complicated??

 **Mattrix system:** they make my head hurt sometimes

 **Pidgeroni:**  same tho

 **Pidgeroni:**  anyways hows plan F for fix the gay thots going

 **Regina George:**  I followed them for as long as I could with axca and narti the other day

 **Regina George:**  and smthing is definently up

 **Regina George:**  they barely acted as a couple

 **Regina George:**  the most lance did was hold the girls hand and that only lasted for about 10 min

 **Regina George:**  and the most she did with him was brush shoulders

 **Regina George:**  I had planned on following longer but me and the girls lost them when they left for dairy queen so we didnt pursue

 **Pidgeroni:**  so nothin really new except for raising our suspicions 

 **Pidgeroni:**  great

 **ShirNO:**  me and llura talked with keith

 **Lulu:**  he is defs still way into lance no doubt

 **Pidgeroni:** at least that's some good news

 **Wrestle boi:**  shay and I haven't really talked to lance yet

 **Wrestle boi:**  but he isnt that suspicious so like

 **Wrestle boi:** we mght not have to?

 **Shayk and Bake:** oh i dont doubt its only a matter of time that he becomes so

 **Shayk and Bake:** lance is very intelligent even if he doesnt act like it

 **Shayk and  Bake:**  we will probably have to talk to him soon enough

 **Wrestle boi:** lovely

 **Pidgeroni:**  well me and matt tried to dig up as much as we could abt our fish

 **Mattrix system:** there wasnt really anything important

 **Pidgeroni:**  shes known lance for at most a year

 **Mattrix system:**  shes from cali

 **Pidgeroni:**  shes interested in marine biology

 **Mattrix system:** shes apart of the activist club our school has

 **Pidgeroni:**  she works at the surf shop at the beach

 **Mattrix system:**  grew up with both parents

 **Pidgeroni:** grew up middle class

 **Mattrix system:** has never had a relationship till now

 **Pidgeroni:**  is slightly a kleptomaniac

 **Mattrix system:** and owns 2 doggos

 **Pidgeroni:**  she also has this private blog that im trying to get into but itll take a while

 **Mattrix system:**  so thats all we got

 **Wrestle boi:**  jesus when you both get arrested im not bailing either of you

 **Mattrix system:**  taka will get me out

 **ShirNO:**  no

 **Mattrix system:**  then llura will

 **Lulu:**  maybe

 **ShirNO:**  allura no

 **Mattrix system:**  stop being a debbie downer

 **Shayk and Bake:**  ill bail you out matt

 **Mattrix system:**  relationship ended with shallura

 **Mattrix system:** now shay is my new gf

 **Pidgeroni:** oooooohhhh hunk he comin for ur gurl

 **Pidgeroni:**  also that is a dead meme matt i ha d more faith in you

 **Wrestle boi:**  i love u b i t c h

 **Wrestle boi:**  i aint gonna never stop loving u

 **Wrestle boi:**  B I T C H

 **Shayk and Bake:**  i love one (1) man

 **Pidgeroni** : also dead memes

 **Mattrix system:**  according to all known laws of aviation, 

 **Mattrix system:**  there is no way a bee should be able to fly

 **Pidgeroni:**  matt you have been redeemed

 **Lulu:** *slaps shiro in the face*

 **Lulu:**  this bad boy can hold so much dadly disappointment 

 **ShirNO:**  I don't feel so good

 **Pidgeroni:**  W H Y

 **Shayk and bake:**  I refuse to cry

 **Wrestle boi:**  I already am

 **Mattrix system:** shiro i hate you

 **Lulu:**  perish in fire

 **Regina George:**  this is so sad alexa play despacito 2

 **Pidgeroni:**  YOU KNOW WHAT

 **Pidgeroni:** S O M E B O D Y O N C E T O L D M E

 **Mattrix system:**  I AINT LOSIN THIS MEME WAR

 **Mattrix system:** T H E F I T N E S S G R A M P A C E R T E S T

 **ShirNO:**  ENOUGH

 **ShirNO:**  now listen closely

 **ShirNO:**  heres a little lesson in trickery

 **ShirNO:** this is going down in h i s t o r y

 **Lulu:**  too early

 **Pidgeroni:** goddamnit shiro

 **Wrestle boi:** father has won

 **Shayk and Bake:**  sadly

 **Lulu:**  rip stefan

 **Regina George:**  rip stefan

 **ShirNO:** rip stefan

 **Shayk and bake:** RIP stefan

 **Wrestle boi:**  rest in peace stefan

 **Pidgeroni:**  REST IN FUCKING PEACE ROBBIE ROTTEN

 **Mattrix system:** ROTTEN BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

 **Pidgeroni:**  AND ALWAYS NUMBER ONE

 **Lulu:**  shit my phone went off

 **Lulu:**  ulaz is telling us we have to actually pay attention now

 **Mattrix system:**  FUCK THE POLICE

 **ShirNO:**  Matthew holt

 **Wrestle boi:**  oh no

 **Shayk and Bake:**  he's serious

 **Pidgeroni:**  ITS THE DAD VOICE

 **Regina George:** abort mission

 **Mattrix system:** GOTTA B L A S T

 _ **Lulu** has sent a file:_ hedidntevenmakeitoverthetablelmao.jpg

 **ShirNO:**  alright everyone back to class

 **Pidgeroni:**  f i n e

 **Wrestle boi:**  bye guys

 **Shayk and Bake:** talk to you all later

 **Moostachio:**  please all of you try and learn something today

\---------------------------

**Group chat >> The Bad Boy Teenager Club™ **

**OcEaNmAn >> Mattcosplay, Knifesexual, Rocky road me harder, T h i c c c**

**[11:27 A.M.]**

**OcEaNmAn:** holy shiz i forgot this chat existed

 **OcEaNmAn:** also i hate haggar

 **Mattcosplay:**  damn i forgot you had her this hour

 **T h i c c c:**  dude why are you txting if you're in her class??

 **T h i c c c:** do you have a death wish???

 **Knifesexual:**  i do

 **Mattcosplay:** same

 **OcEaNmAn:**  mood

 **Rocky road me harder:**  I'm slightly concerned

 **T h i c c c:**  me 24/7

 **OcEaNmAn:**  i have keith this hr tho and his sarcastic ass makes this class bearable 

 **OcEaNmAn:**  only slightly tho

 **Knifesexual:**  glad i could help

 **OcEaNmAn:**  <3

 **Knifesexual:**  </3

 **OcEaNmAn:**  щ(ºДºщ)

 **Knifesexual:**  (¬_¬)

 **OcEaNmAn:**  ಠ~ಠ

 **Knifesexual:**  (；一_一)

 **OcEaNmAn:** ┻━┻ ︵ヽ('Д')ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

 **Knifesexual:**  ⚆ _ ⚆

 **OcEaNmAn:**  ಥ_ಥ

 **Mattcosplay:**  what the actual fuck am I witnessing 

 **T h i c c c:**  shhhhh let them finish

 **Rocky road me harder:**  they're communicating!

 **OcEaNmAn:**  ಠ╭╮ಠ

 **Knifesexual:** （◎ー◎；）

 **Knifesexual:**  <3

 **OcEaNmAn:** ║ " ◕ ◯ ◕ " ║

 **OcEaNmAn:** ( ƅ°ਉ°)ƅ

 **OcEaNmAn:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Knifesexual:** ⊙▂⊙

 **OcEaNmAn:** (づ￣ ³￣)づ

 **Knifesexual:** ヘ(￣ー￣ヘ)

 **Mattcosplay:** smh my head

 **Mattcosplay:** srsly someone explain 2 me why they ain't fuckin at least??

 **Knifesexual:**  ew I wouldn't touch lance w a 10 ft pole

 **OcEaNmAn:** r00d

 **OcEaNmAn:** I have plax anyways so no thx

 **T h i c c c:** not gonna lie if I was single I would go after keith man

 **Mattcosplay:** he got the booty

 **Rocky road me harder:**  and the hips

 **Knifesexual:**  can we not discuss my body??

 **Mattcosplay:** srsly nothing against plaxum but keith is hotter

 **Mattcosplay:**  and thats coming from me

 **OcEaNmAn:**  u just jelly

 **Mattcosplay:**  Im 

 **Mattcosplay:**  A S E X U A L

 **OcEaNmAn:**  but not aromantic

 **Mattcosplay:** literally everyone in our school can die

 **T h i c c c:**   (╥︣﹏᷅╥)

 **Rocky road me harder:**  (°ロ°)

 **Mattcosplay:**  except hunay

 **T h i c c c:**  (*^▽^*)

 **Rocky road me harder:** （＾ω＾）

 **OcEaNmAn:**  I am offended 

 **OcEaNmAn:**  dont talk to me or my children ever again

 **Mattcosplay:** whatever IOOOHHH I JUST REMBERRD SMTH HANG ON

 **T h i c c c:**  are u okay pidge??

 _ **Mattcosplay**  has sent a file:_ checkoutthishottie.png

 **Knifesexual:**  WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TAKING PICS OF ME WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE??

 **Knifesexual:**  I DID NOT CONSENT

 **Mattcosplay:**  I need blackmail somehow

 **Mattcosplay:** u were the one who decided to walk around in jus ur boxers

 **Knifesexual:**  I l i v e with you

 **Rocky road me harder:**  i believe the proper term to describe Keith's body is

 **Rocky road me harder:**  BLESSED

 **T h i c c c:**  them hips save ships

 **T h i c c c:**  them thighs save lives

 **Mattcosplay:**  lance r u ok ur really quiet

 **OcEaNmAn:**  I'm fine 

 **Mattcosplay:**  mmmmmmhmmmmmm

 **OcEaNmAn:**  g2g bye

 **Knifesexual:**  ?????

 **Mattcosplay:**  Jesus Christ u both r so oblivious

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for watching (watching wtf me?) and I hope you all had fun?? ? ? Again this is self-indulgent bc the fandom stresses me out and this how I cope. by making weird interactions between fictional characters. 
> 
> We stan tbh.
> 
> kay bye hos.


End file.
